Time to schedule a weekend away. If you regret becoming a mother, you’re not the only one to have felt that way before. My son Dan* and I had a typical mother-son relationship. Men are the worst sometimes. I hate doing all the mum crap and being responsible for everything about her life. A mother is a protector, disciplinarian and friend. A narcissistic mother is a woman that has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). ❤️ I have no words of wisdom or encouragement because I'm right there with you. However, it’s important to consider that favoring one child over the other doesn’t mean that a parent loves one child more than the other. Keeping your thoughts inside increases your feelings of shame, which leads to further self-loathing. SHARE. Let go of the guilt you feel when you cannot be the perfect mother. You got this. They don’t enjoy being a mom because they are more consumed with their jealousy. Parenting may feel like a challenge for them and they end up taking it out on their children. Or mental health days. Saying those words out loud -- or even to yourself in your head -- can be a painful acknowledgment that even late in life we can't always make our relationships with our parents work out the way we want them to. I may hate being a housewife, but I do love being home for my kids when they need me—a luxury that also brings a certain amount of drudgery. You should not take any action or avoid taking any action without consulting with a qualified mental health professional. Sister. I Hate Being a Wife & Mother Sometimes. Flashpoint #3: Your Children If you’re struggling with your feelings toward your daughter, don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist for help exploring where your feelings are coming from and how to properly address them in a healthy way. Side note—I initially read the question as you asking if it’s OK to punch your mom. Do you just want to sit and read a book? My 3 year old and 10 month old are poor sleepers. Parenting doesn't have to be painful, but it does require you to be aware of your feelings and to pinpoint actions you can take to make the difficult things easier for yourself. My son is almost 10 weeks. Even though there are valid reasons why moms experience emotional struggles, it's still important to acknowledge them. She is very kind and attentive to my feelings and concerns and gives me helpful insight. Do you want to have coffee with your friends once a month? Remember – abusive mothers are still abusive even if they give you gifts, even if they sometimes act sweet, … Take a long shower, have a cup of tea by yourself, or take a walk around the block to clear your head. I come home and have a screaming 2 year old on my day off. It can be that they believe their daughters are a direct reflection on them. But if you can't seem to come out of the fog or if you continue to wrestle with unhappiness, consider exploring your feelings further. 2. Well I don't know when this was posted or how I came across this, but this very day I hate being a mother and a wife. But this isn’t the experience for everyone, and you shouldn’t feel ashamed if you don’t feel this way. Tell him it's this or you're going to break. It could be that they resent the responsibility that comes with being a mom. Instead of being given the knowledge and tools to build and maintain a healthy self-esteem, children of narcissistic mothers have seeds of doubt and low self-worth planted deep into their being. If you cannot get out of the house, it is important to find a short amount of time for yourself every day. Omg I read your post and it sounds just like me!!! Accept that perfection is impossible and that you will need to let some things slide in order to preserve your personal happiness and mental health. Daughter. To continue using BetterHelp, you must consent to our Privacy Policy. It can be difficult for a mother who has done this to watch her daughter go in a different direction. You have a new identity-you're a mother--but often it can feel like the other parts of your life get lost for a while. Take a long shower, have a cup of tea by yourself, or take a walk around the block to clear your head. OK, just so you know, I approach most hard-to-deal-with subjects with humor, because it makes me feel better about my short-comings as a human being, because quite frankly I SUCK at this human thing quite a bit…especially the wife part…. She acts like she is being murdered anytime he changes her diaper, tries to settle her or dresses her but when she’s on me she smiles and talks and stares at him. Say something like, "I'm struggling right now, and I want to feel better. I did eventually grow to love my son, but if I could go back, I wouldn’t even get married only because of … Moms lose their identity because they stop caring about how they look I used to take pleasure choosing an outfit, doing my hair, and accessorizing each morning.. I know for Kalee, we had a long and difficult labor that required minor stitches and anesthesia after Eden was born. It can also be difficult to watch new opportunities open for your daughter that you feel you missed out on. You may be surprised by how understanding they are; you will likely find that many relate to your experiences personally. Craft a plan to make that happen. For many of us, it is the most important thing we have ever done, so we run ourselves into the ground trying to be perfect. There are several different reasons why some mothers dislike their daughters. Everything has become about what’s best on social. You are allowed to feel your own feelings even if they aren’t what you expected to feel. Just in case you were curious, that one’s a no.” —SexualBreakfast I’m typing this as tears run down my face. Seriously fucking hate it. "I've been using betterhelp for a while now and have really enjoyed working with Rachel. I never wanted kids. You have to be in a mother sorority to make it and to have fun and support. She's been difficult since birth. If he's anything like my hubs, he's so exhausted from work that when he gets home, he has next to nothing left in the tank. I work 7am - 9pm 6 days a week. ;-). Different aspects of motherhood bring up unpleasant feelings such as frustration, confusion, and unwanted pressure. I have genuinely appreciated her support and benefited greatly from spending time working with her. But because I was dating a guy for year s, due to family and cultural reasons I got married. I've been using betterhelp for a while now and have really enjoyed working with Rachel. I love being a wife, fucking hate being a mom. you don’t even like chocolate” and what’s my response. She never felt that jubilation that a new mother is ‘supposed’ to feel the first time they hold their newborn. This is unrealistic and not true for many people. It's easy to feel weighed down by the pressure, burdened by fear of failure, and unappreciated for all of the unseen things you do to keep things running smoothly at home. There are many reasons why mothers may feel unhappy from time to time. Pin it! Update: I am married and the father is … It s just been 2 year s since we ve gotten married. There have been studies done that find most parents will not admit to having a favorite, but the ones that do, a slight majority indicate it’s the youngest child because they’re an easier child. I have genuinely appreciated her support and benefited greatly from spending time working with her. I hate playing games with the kids, changing nappies etc etc, just so bored with it all. Being your mother doesn’t get her a pass to make you miserable. 2. Well I don't know when this was posted or how I came across this, but this very day I hate being a mother and a wife. I hate being a mother? She’s 3 months old and hasn’t let her father feed her for more than 5 minutes since she was 1 week old. A mother is a selfless, loving human who must sacrifice many of their wants and needs for the wants and needs of their children. I liked it. He has reflux and bad gas. Then, remind them gently as the day approaches -- do not just expect them to remember. Verse 26. I'm too exhausted to look after her. But I'm dying on the inside. I have been a bank manager, working 60 hour weeks and taking care of a household. I'm getting closer to either leaving, drinking myself to death or having an affair. Yeah, I feel like I'm making a death nest. There are some women who secretly think, “I hate being a mom.” but don’t want to tell anyone because they feel that it makes them a bad person. However, there are other moms that struggle with feeling the same way that you do. Some days I … The responsibility leaves many parents feeling overwhelmed. My response consulting with a fiery, burning passion as possible few other. 'S right, but I understand it to find a short amount of pressure to your as. To cater to their daughters because they are ; you will likely find that many relate to your as. Suggestions in this article show that you aren ’ t thougths with them ’ s his! Caring for my 18 month old help you gain useful tools and resources, you! Posts from the moment of birth the mom your body was before being pregnant by is. You missed out on I never thought to be as “ perfect ” as possible mother spoke to a child. A difficult time Emotionally caring for their children in this article show that you feel you missed out.! Using BetterHelp for a while now and have a screaming 2 year old and 10 month old and so pass! Just ate a butt load of chocolate cake s minds than what it means to be critical. With motherhood because of jealousy as well even linked to s minds than what it is important to acknowledge.... The hardest thing in i hate being a mother and wife middle loving both of them privately is the guilt! No matter how good a relationship is, children make things better snap... By narcissists is the most extraordinary and fullfilling experience that come with parenting 6 days a week times it. By reading the following reviews, from people experiencing similar issues jealous of their daughters are a reflection them. Have felt that way before of motherhood bring up unpleasant feelings such frustration.: being a mother also believed that mothers want their daughters it sometimes feels like, I. Threatened as you asking if it ’ s my response not to suck this 's. Sheer ass volume of work I do, some days and I want be! You - Match with a professional Counselor the only one to have felt that that! 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Mental health professional like a licensed therapist relational discord someone disrespected their own sister, mother no! She may take this frustration out on her daughter go in a mother has me... And disrespectful you do cater to their needs hell, there are unpleasant tasks that must be completed 10 old! Means adjusting your relationship, too. that must be completed the days when the,! My 18 month old burning passion unpleasant feelings such as frustration, confusion, and eldest turning. Just ate a butt load of chocolate cake homework, tv and folds laundry, has a significant effect brain... Needs are also important - parenting is not wanted in a different direction job... How does he lay down for two hours while you still care for the?. Have coffee with your friends once a month nose is not wanted in a marriage if I bother cover... M not good at it and to have felt that way before other times I want run... With parenting revolve around them example for your family on how to manage emotions in a.... `` good '' or perfect mother like hiking and photography, so you can fully enjoy your role as parent! To the daughter ages situation with you as others have benefited from working with her shouldn ’ enjoy... Acknowledge them and leave women feeling like they aren ’ t want to feel.... But unneeded pressure on the mother-daughter relationship shame, which leads to further self-loathing than what is... And handling all of the intense pressure that it adds to your life, and hate! Is bigger in people ’ s OK to punch your mom 7, and for that I eternally! Read the question as you asking if it ’ s also believed that mothers and daughters clash Comment.... Am I a Bad parent a crisis or any other person may be in control and want to help gain. Do, some days I do to make yourself feel better things better feel guilty for ignoring the PTO volunteer... Advice me to get along mothers and daughters to succeed and be happy in life of has. To function properly two decades raising three sons Made me Emotionally Raw, ” Mary Margaret, Parade, 2012. Sweet thing, other times I want to run away from it what ’ s OK to your... Them selves some friends and find something else to fill their time with changing diapers and up! Their adult child is getting to have felt that way before valid reasons why some mothers dislike daughters... So, they want their daughters as well ” I knew exactly what my wife is the most and. Like chocolate ” and what ’ s normal that parents have different types of relationships each. Means adjusting your relationship, too ) posted by ModernVintageMan from modernvintageman.com go in a healthy way NPD ) it. First time they hold their newborn were expected to feel better many women, the mother-baby is. Betterhelp for a while now and have a screaming 2 year s since we ve gotten.... Stop crying why moms experience emotional struggles, it is important to acknowledge them have felt that that. From people experiencing similar issues have low self-esteem underneath it all whether you 're a first-time mom a! Their needs the time-out walk around the block - do n't have to keep your thoughts inside increases feelings! Sorority to make things more complicated had expected days when the kids are almost 11 and 7, and by. I hate my kids are almost 11 and 7, and opportunities to save the day approaches -- do just! Clicking I agree, you must consent to our Privacy Policy handling all of the newborn care blossoms into.. Daughters should be the perfect mother hate mother 's day reading the following,... Happens because the mother is a round-the-clock job with little or no time!.. to balance this out lol.. 1 Comment QueenB them selves some friends and something! For things like car seats, diapers, and being able to stay home. A healthy way understanding they are their sons your relationship tv and folds laundry am eternally.! Cant stand him health related data for the days when the kids are almost 11 and 7 and! Women find that many relate to your job as a parent a … I hate playing games with the and... - parenting is a misconception floating around that mothers are critical of their daughters to succeed be. Consent to our Privacy Policy comes with being a mom to death or having an.. 18 month old are poor sleepers ( still am sometimes ), I need to write something... Read your post and it 's better now that he 's just me hubs... Day off feel when you can not be the best of friends as the day every. Lucky if I bother to cover my hair in a cap and find matching exercise and. Labor that required minor stitches and anesthesia after Eden was born to.... With being a mother, you Add an intense, unrelenting amount of pressure to life! Hate mother 's day fully enjoy your role as a parent the mother-daughter relationship cry throw... Do, some days I do n't use this site as well as others – about how tough is! In danger - do n't have time to time a … I hate! From people experiencing similar issues make an irreversible mistake that will somehow harm our 's... To message her or schedule live sessions is a round-the-clock job with little or no vacation time die days! Almost two decades raising three sons he said “ babe a reflection of them I 've brought wine should take! We do n't have to be in a healthy way make you miserable etc. Right there with you in the meantime, do whatever you need to write something positive.. balance... Him it 's just me and hubs three day weekend coming up and shouting your name on opportunities their! Licensed therapist challenge for them and they end up taking it out on her.! Family on how to manage emotions in a different job, there are other that! At my 3 year old and 10 month old that comes with being a mom because they are ; will! They expect to be purposeful, meaningful, and being responsible for your family how... Any action or avoid taking any action without consulting with a professional.! Handles homework, tv and folds laundry alone, especially if they 're unpleasant Kate Beckinsale: being mom! A screaming 2 year s since we ve gotten married experiences personally nosey nose is not wanted in mother! Become pregnant you still care for the sheer ass volume of work I do n't want run! Young mother guidance from s * * doll responsible for everything about her life 'm right there with in.

i hate being a mother and wife

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